2006 edition
2007 edition? Sorry, life got in the way.
2008 edition

So here it is, Thanksgiving Day. Now’s the time to think about getting that ole Christmas Tree up and decorated (if you’re going artificial that is.) So, what’s the best way to find one? Ah Yes, the local newspaper! The Thanksgiving Day edition is always overstuffed with those circular ad thingies…

Sears
They have a GE Decorator’s Choice pre-lit Monroe Pine, Just-Cut Spruce or Just-Cut Columbia Fir. No Christmas Trees. They also have collectable ornaments, stockings, tree skirts, garlands and holiday candles. But no mention of Christmas. Oh wait… they DO have “A Christmas Story” on DVD and “A Christmas Story” village (model set) by Dept 56. But no Christmas Trees. Must’ve been hidden somewhere in all those pages of Craftsman tools.

K-Mart
Oooh, on the front page they have a big green bow tied to their big red logo. This looks promising. Maybe not, they offer a Martha Stewart Everyday Holiday pre-lit Star Mountain, Bearpaw Mountain or Aspen Mountain tree. No Christmas Trees. They have holiday cards, but no Christmas Cards. They have holiday gift wrap, but no Christmas gift wrap. They have a Martha Stewart Everyday holiday wreath, but no Christmas Wreaths. They have American Greetings holiday ornaments, but no Christmas ornaments. They have what looks like a stuffed Santa plush doll, but they call it “Christmas Kid”. I wonder for what occasion are they selling all those pages of toys.

Lowes
They have a pre-lit tree, a Highland Pine pre-lit tree, a Sherwood Pine Slim pre-lit tree, a Just-Cut Saratoga Spruce pre-lit tree, a Fresh-cut Fraser Fir and a Carolina Fir tree. Aw hell, not even one mention of even a holiday tree. I know I couldn’t possibly find a Christmas Tree there. We also find a holiday poinsettia. No Christmas Poinsettia. I’ll give them credit, at least they call their outdoor inflatable santas: Santa.

Victoria’s Secret
Need to take a break from writing this article. Be back in a few minutes.

Old Time Pottery (who?)
A Norway Slim Pencil tree. Got plenty of pencils, I want a Christmas Tree. Wait, hold the presses, on the inside cover, they have… Christmas Trees!!! And 14 styles to choose from to boot! Oh. Wait. The closest Old Time Pottery (who?) is in the next state.

Target
I had to flip all the way to the back cover to find a pre-lit artificial pine tree with FREE wreath. No luck on a Christmas Tree.

Home Depot
On the front page, we have a Carolina fir tree with 500 lights. On the inside we find artificial trees for every budget and style (complete with handy-dandy chart.) Christmas Trees? Nada.

McRaes
Hmm, their Christmas decor is 60% off. Why do they want to get rid of their Christmas decor so badly? Definitely won’t find a Christmas Tree there. Holy Jesus! They’re selling nativity sets!

Dillards
Seneca pre-lit Christmas Trees!!!

Linens-N-Things
Pre-lit remote control Christmas Trees!!! Remote control? Oh never mind. I’m too happy to find Christmas Trees to be cynical now.

Parisian
No Christmas Tree. No trees period. Holiday Motif jewelry anyone? No Christmas jewelry to be found.

Toys R Us
No Christmas Trees, but the Star Wars Revenge of the Sith Electronic Lightsaber Action 2-Pack is pretty tempting.

So there you have it. The only places to find a Christmas Tree appear to be limited to Dillards, Linens-N-Things or Old Time Pottery (who? If there’s one near you that is).

Funny (not). 20-30 years ago, we were arguing that Christmas was being over-commercialized. Now that its been commercialized beyond all recognition, its being eliminated period.

Linky Love:
Cao’s Blog
Michelle Malkin
Stop The ACLU