So you made bail and are now back in Miami. Cool. Now do the United States of America just one huge favor: RUN!!! Or swim or whatever it takes. Hop into one of those make-shift boats left on the beach by Cuban refugees and start paddling. Go live your life out in some thatch hut in the South American jungle. Whatever you do, just make sure that we never hear your name again. Never again do we want to endure another “All Day, All OJ” day like Fox News made us suffer through this past Sunday and the constant media blather since.

We know that, due to your sociopathic/narcissistic tendencies, you do not have the common sense required to plead your case down to a manageable punishment. Hence you will live the rest of your life inside a prison wall. But that won’t end it for us, the American people. We will constantly be subjected to your whining about no suitable golf courses and you know some skinhead in the next bunk will tell you one day soon: “you married a white woman, then you killed a white woman; here’s your parting gift” right before he shanks your ass. And then it starts all over again. So do yourself and all of us a favor and haul ass.

Or finally do what you said you would do that day in the back of that white Bronco.