“Please, please, PLEASE tell me that there really aren’t people out there who think that they are going to retire on their Social Security! Do we really have people that stupid walking around loose with voter registration cards in their pockets?”

“Americans can be divided into two groups: those who divide Americans into two groups, and those who don’t. Or: makers and takers.”

“Government does not do ANYthing as well as the private sector does, and that includes educating your children.”

“I really don’t care how hard it is to raise a family on minimum wage. Fact is, if you’re not bright enough to earn more than the minimum wage you’re damned sure not smart enough to be having children.”

“The one sure sign that a liberal has run out of ideas is when he accuses you of being a Nazi.”

“Ted Kennedy is a vile, repugnant slug who leaves a sticky trail behind him wherever he goes. And I’m actually being kind to Ted Kennedy on that one.”

“How many Catholic schools do you think teach the students to question the authority of the Pope? Do you believe Christian schools teach students to question or challenge the authority of Jesus Christ? Do military schools teach the cadets to challenge the authority? Then why in hell do you expect GOVERNMENT schools to teach students to think independently and not rely on the government?”

“Teachers unions are a greater long-term threat to freedom and prosperity than Islamic terrorists.

“Greed: A word commonly used by liberals, low achievers, anti-capitalists and society’s losers to denigrate, shame and discredit those who have acquired superior job skills and decision-making capabilities and who, through the application of those job skills, achieve success.”

“Democrats appeal to people who are afraid to accept responsibility for their own lives.”

“Criminals don’t want their victims to be armed. Oddly enough, neither do many governments.”

“Guns cause crime like wet sidewalks cause rain, cameras cause pornography, and spoons cause Rosie to be fat and stupid.”

“The principal purpose of the Democratic Party is to use the force of government to take property away from the people who earn it and give it to people who do not.”

“Considering the crap they’re recording and presenting as music these days .. purchasing a CD ought to be considered as prima facie evidence of dementia.”

“The rich keep getting richer because they keep doing the things that make them rich. Ditto for the poor.”

“If you want the economy to fail, put the money in the hands of the failures. If you want the economy to succeed, put the money in the hands of the successful. The Democrats won’t like it, though, because failures vote for Democrats.”

“Letting welfare recipients vote is like letting the inmates run the asylum.”

“NO ONE HAS A ‘RIGHT’ NOT TO BE OFFENDED.”