So here it is, Thanksgiving Day. Now’s the time to think about getting that ole Christmas Tree up and decorated (if you’re going artificial that is.) So, what’s the best way to find one? Ah yes, the local newspaper! The Thanksgiving Day edition is always overstuffed with those circular ad thingies…
Jo-Ann Fabrics
They have a Holiday Inspirations 7 ft pre-lit tree, 6 Ft Entryway tree and 4½ Ft Entryway tree. Didn’t see a Christmas tree.
Walgreens
Buy 1, get 1 free: 4 Ft Potted, Lighted tree. Wish they had buy 1, get 1 Christmas trees.
Bealls
A Lighted Palm tree?
Ace Hardware
Yee-Ha! They have a 4 Ft pre-lit Montana Pine Porch Christmas Tree!!!
Michaels
Woo-Hooo! They have 7 Ft and taller Christmas Trees!!!
Walmart
I see a 6½ Ft pre-lit Colorado Tree. No Christmas trees. Oh wait! There they are! 4 ft pre-lit Christmas Trees!!!
Victoria’s Secret
Uh… time out. I’ll get back to my research in a moment.
Kohl’s
Let’s see, St Nicholas Square Trim-A-Tree, 4 Ft outdoor pre-lit porch trees and 7 ft pre-lit green trees. Not a Christmas tree to be found.
Sears
Eureka! 7½ Ft Hadley Pine Christmas Trees!!!
JCPenney
I’m looking at a 7½ Ft pre-lit Vancouver Pine Tree. If they have any Christmas trees, I missed it.
Belk
7½ Ft pre-lit Alexander Spruce. Nary a Christmas tree.
Home Depot
6½ Ft Aster Pine Tree, 7½ Ft Wesley Pine Tree, 6½ Ft GE Frasier Fir Tree, 7½ Ft Paley Pine Miracle Tree, 7½ Ft Flocked Motten Pine Miracle Tree and a 7½ Ft GE Just Cut Medium Frasier Fir Tree. Seems like they could throw a Christmas tree in there. Ooops! On the next page they have fresh cut Christmas Trees!!!
Old Time Pottery (who?)
7 Ft Mountain Pine Trees, 7½ Ft Reagan Pine Trees, 7½ Douglas Fir Pine Trees, 7½ Ft pre-lit Slim Noble Pine Trees, etc., etc. Oh. Never mind. The next page has the heading: Christmas Tree Headquarters!!!
K-Mart
Trim A Home 6½ Ft pre-lit pine trees and 6 Ft Mount Washington pre-lit trees, along with Martha Stewart Everyday Holiday 7½ Ft pre-lit trees. No Christmas trees, Martha?
So, there you have it. Overall, not bad. In my 2005 edition, I could only find 3 businesses that sold Christmas trees. Who knows, maybe the word Christmas is coming back into style!
Why is it that Michael Phelps is in a new commercial touting how easy it was using Rosetta Stone to learn Chinese in preparation for the Beijing Olympics, but he never utters a word of Chinese during the entire commercial?
They could have at least taught him a short phrase such as “How much for that swimming cap?” or “Three Big Macs please.”
The 2005 edition received over 3000 hits in the past year, so who am I to argue with success. The following results are from the 11/23 edition of the Pensacola News Journal.
Belk
Home Accents 7.5 ft pre-lit tree, entrance hall tree and pre-lit wreath (didn’t say what kind of tree or wreath)
Parisian
Hypocrisy Alert! *
JC Penney
7.5 ft. pre-lit Christmas tree!
Side note: They have a 4-in-1 universal voice-activated remote control! Remember when you had to get your lazy ass up and walk across the room to change the channel? Now you don’t even have to push those pesky little buttons.
GameStop
Hypocrisy Alert! *
World Market
Holiday ornaments, but no Christmas tree ornaments. Holiday stockings, but no Christmas stockings.
Linens-N-Things
7½ ft. prelit remote control Christmas tree! (no voice activation? maybe they should consult with JC Penney)
Dillard’s
Pre-lit Christmas trees!
Michaels
I can only save on 7 ft. or taller pre-lit trees, but the small print mentions that 9 ft. Christmas trees are available in most stores. They also have pre-lit tinsel trees (4 colors!), spiral trees and pre-lit 4 ft. hillside pines. No mention if those were for Christmas.
Target
6½ ft. pre-lit artificial pine tree with FREE wreath. Is that the hook to get me to buy a non-Christmas tree?
Old Time Pottery (who?)
7′ or pre-lit 7.5′ slim noble pine tree and 7.5′ Douglas fir or Montana pine tree. Oops, almost missed it. At the top of the section: Christmas Tree Doorbuster! They also have Christmas stockings.
CVS
They have Merry Brite 100 ct. light sets. Didn’t mention if they were for Christmas trees. Hypocrisy Alert! *
Home Depot
Let’s see, in artificial trees they have: Fraser firs Michigan firs, Kodiak firs, Balsam spuces, Carolina slim pines, fancy pines and Oregon pines. On the other hand, they do have fresh cut Christmas trees.
KMart
Martha Stewart Everyday Holiday 6.5 ft. Snowbird Mountain tree, Evergreen Mountain tree or 7.5 ft. Copper Mountain tree. Couldn’t they save some ink and just say Christmas trees?
Lowes
One half of the back page is nothing but Christmas trees!
Sports Authority
Hypocrisy Alert! *
WalMart
Another minor hypocrisy alert – They recently spouted that the “Merry Christmas” message was back, but no mention of the word Christmas in the circular.
* Hypocrisy Alert – The circular is trimmed with Christmas colors (red and green), but no mention of the word Christmas (unless hidden in the small print.)
2006 edition
2007 edition? Sorry, life got in the way.
2008 edition
So here it is, Thanksgiving Day. Now’s the time to think about getting that ole Christmas Tree up and decorated (if you’re going artificial that is.) So, what’s the best way to find one? Ah Yes, the local newspaper! The Thanksgiving Day edition is always overstuffed with those circular ad thingies…
Sears
They have a GE Decorator’s Choice pre-lit Monroe Pine, Just-Cut Spruce or Just-Cut Columbia Fir. No Christmas Trees. They also have collectable ornaments, stockings, tree skirts, garlands and holiday candles. But no mention of Christmas. Oh wait… they DO have “A Christmas Story” on DVD and “A Christmas Story” village (model set) by Dept 56. But no Christmas Trees. Must’ve been hidden somewhere in all those pages of Craftsman tools.
K-Mart
Oooh, on the front page they have a big green bow tied to their big red logo. This looks promising. Maybe not, they offer a Martha Stewart Everyday Holiday pre-lit Star Mountain, Bearpaw Mountain or Aspen Mountain tree. No Christmas Trees. They have holiday cards, but no Christmas Cards. They have holiday gift wrap, but no Christmas gift wrap. They have a Martha Stewart Everyday holiday wreath, but no Christmas Wreaths. They have American Greetings holiday ornaments, but no Christmas ornaments. They have what looks like a stuffed Santa plush doll, but they call it “Christmas Kid”. I wonder for what occasion are they selling all those pages of toys.
Lowes
They have a pre-lit tree, a Highland Pine pre-lit tree, a Sherwood Pine Slim pre-lit tree, a Just-Cut Saratoga Spruce pre-lit tree, a Fresh-cut Fraser Fir and a Carolina Fir tree. Aw hell, not even one mention of even a holiday tree. I know I couldn’t possibly find a Christmas Tree there. We also find a holiday poinsettia. No Christmas Poinsettia. I’ll give them credit, at least they call their outdoor inflatable santas: Santa.
Victoria’s Secret
Need to take a break from writing this article. Be back in a few minutes.
Old Time Pottery (who?)
A Norway Slim Pencil tree. Got plenty of pencils, I want a Christmas Tree. Wait, hold the presses, on the inside cover, they have… Christmas Trees!!! And 14 styles to choose from to boot! Oh. Wait. The closest Old Time Pottery (who?) is in the next state.
Target
I had to flip all the way to the back cover to find a pre-lit artificial pine tree with FREE wreath. No luck on a Christmas Tree.
Home Depot
On the front page, we have a Carolina fir tree with 500 lights. On the inside we find artificial trees for every budget and style (complete with handy-dandy chart.) Christmas Trees? Nada.
McRaes
Hmm, their Christmas decor is 60% off. Why do they want to get rid of their Christmas decor so badly? Definitely won’t find a Christmas Tree there. Holy Jesus! They’re selling nativity sets!
Dillards
Seneca pre-lit Christmas Trees!!!
Linens-N-Things
Pre-lit remote control Christmas Trees!!! Remote control? Oh never mind. I’m too happy to find Christmas Trees to be cynical now.
Parisian
No Christmas Tree. No trees period. Holiday Motif jewelry anyone? No Christmas jewelry to be found.
Toys R Us
No Christmas Trees, but the Star Wars Revenge of the Sith Electronic Lightsaber Action 2-Pack is pretty tempting.
So there you have it. The only places to find a Christmas Tree appear to be limited to Dillards, Linens-N-Things or Old Time Pottery (who? If there’s one near you that is).
Funny (not). 20-30 years ago, we were arguing that Christmas was being over-commercialized. Now that its been commercialized beyond all recognition, its being eliminated period.
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