robrrt

You’re walking down the street, into a crowded room, etc. when you notice someone intently looking your way. Hmm, is it your Seminoles shirt? Or do you need to zip up your fly? After checking downstairs, you look back at the person and that’s when you see it. He/she gives you the secret CP7 greeting!

So, remember next time – when in doubt of being in the presence of friend or foe, just stand tall and point that left index finger to the sky. It won’t be secret much longer.

…it’s not just for Wolverines

Blackburn College (IL)

Gustavus Adolphus (MN)

Grove City (PA)

Delaware

Middlebury (VT)

Nichols (MA)

Princeton

San Bernardino Valley (CA)

St Peters (NJ)

On the other hand, I felt like clawing my eyes out when I saw this piece of thievery.

Haskell Indian Nations University (KS)

There’s a conspicuously empty seat front and center at the WH press room. Who will get to occupy that well-used chair?

My first pick would be a beer keg. The beer summit was such a roaring success, why not beer briefings?

Justin Bieber – There’s probably no better way to get America’s youth interested in the daily press briefings.

Sarah Palin – Love her or hate her, we all enjoy a good fireworks show. Bonus: she does have a journalism degree.

Mel Gibson – In full-on Jerry Fletcher (Conspiracy Theory) mode.

Ted Nugent – For pre and post-briefing entertainment.

The Verizon Wireless dude – You know what his only question will be.

Simon Cowell… ’nuff said.

A quick solution to the Iran issue: Convince the administration and congress that it’s not the Islamic Republic of Iran, it’s the Islamic Republicans of Iran. (as Regan joked) The bombing starts in five minutes.

Hearing kd lang belt it out at the Olympics opening was great. That hauntingly beautiful voice has put chill bumps on my arms for many years. Singing “Hallelujah”, however, gave me a craving to watch Shrek again.

(yes, kd doesn’t use capital letters in her name)

1. If you don’t have enough sense to delete the voice mails, hide the 9 iron
2. Do not lock a concussed kid in a closet
3. Wear full body armor when visiting friends who own chimpanzees
4. If reincarnated as a housefly don’t buzz around the U.S. president during an interview
5. If you buzz New York City in Air Force One, creating a city-wide panic, at least take some good pictures
6. If you interrupt an awards show, at least say something intelligent
7. Slip balloon boy some Nyquil before any TV interviews
8. Save the beer summit for the entire US congress
9. Don’t try to High 5 a blind man
10. “Wise Latina” is a legal term
11. The politically correct term is “Life Options”, not “Death Panels”
12. If you want to be a successful pirate, don’t hijack an American ship.
13. Keeping a politician’s children out of late night Top Ten lists applies to all political parties
14. Strip-search any pimps and prostitutes when they come to your acorn office for assistance
15. Grab eye-bleach before looking at the photo of a woman who is late-term with octuplets
16. Admission into the White House is no big deal, just show up

And my top lesson learned from 2009: Do NOT take Claritin a few hours before a hot date

Just a quick thought on #Noles vs Gators:
2007: -33 points
2008: -30 points
2009: -27 points
At least we’re getting better. At this rate, we should win a game in 10 years… by a field goal

John was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called ‘pullets,’ and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now, he could sit on the porch And fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

John’s favourite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all! When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, could run for cover. To John’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention.

Vote carefully next year, the bells are not always audible.

In case you missed it, here are the Glenn Beck shows from Aug 24-28 in handy-dandy compact form. Thanks to @GlennBeckClips for compiling these.

8/24
seg 1 – seg 2 – seg 3 – seg 4 – seg 5 – seg 6

8/25
seg 1 – seg 2 – seg 3 – seg 4 – seg 5 – seg 6

8/26
seg 1 – seg 2 – seg 3 – seg 4 – seg 5 – seg 6

8/27
seg 1 – seg 2 – seg 3 – seg 4 – seg 5 – seg 6

8/28
seg 1 – seg 2 – seg 3 – seg 4 – seg 5 – seg 6

That’s how many years he’ll be tracking your every move on the interwebs

Funny thing is… I don’t recall ever having visited that site.