A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.
I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
The man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.
Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.
As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.
I think you may go to hell and I defend your right to get there.
I used to rock and roll all night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find half an hour a week in which to get funky.
Stupidity is like nuclear power; it can be used for good or evil - and you don't want to get any on you.
In the 70's people took acid to make the world weird. Now that the world is weird, people take Prozac to make it normal.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandment's would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress
I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.
The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.
Congressmen who willfully take actions during wartime that damage morale and undermine the military are saboteurs and should be arrested, exiled or hanged.
Do not fear the enemy, for your enemy can only take your life. It is far better that you fear the media, for they will steal your HONOR.
We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it.
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody
I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies.
Tolerance is the virtue of a man without convictions.
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul, can always count on the support of Paul.
One of the greatest delusions in the world is the hope that the evils in this world are to be cured by legislation.
There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him.
Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
If you see a snake, just kill it. Don't appoint a committee on snakes.
Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one.
Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken.
It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said: Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.
No arsenal, no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crises. The great point is to bring them the real facts.
What this country needs is more free speech worth listening to.
People with courage and character always seem sinister to the rest.
Remember that a government big enough to give you everything you want is also big enough to take away everything you have.
My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
America has problems. The problem is not America.
Don't let us make imaginary evils, when you know we have so many real ones to encounter.
If hooking up an Iraqi prisoner's scrotum to a car's battery cables will save one American GI's life, then I have just two things to say - red is positive, black is negative.
The modern definition of 'racist' is someone who is winning an argument with a liberal.
The hardest job in Washington these days is commissioner of senatorial parking. He's got to allot space for 99 cars and a broomstick.
Most people give up just when they're about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game one foot from a winning touchdown.
The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money.
If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.
We live in a society of victimization, where people are much more comfortable being victimized than actually standing up for themselves.
When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic.
...you can’t go from a $2,000-a-night suite at La Mirage to a penitentiary and really understand it and come out a liberal.
I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.
The Constitution will never fail us. Our leaders will...
The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them.
If the people who make the decisions are the people who will also bear the consequences of those decisions, perhaps better decisions will result.
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